Saying No

 

No. This word is an adjective, noun, adverb and an exclamation according to the little dictionary widget on my computer. Did you know that it was so many things? It is such a simple word. N.O. Two letters that pack so much punch. I feel that as a society, we have become afraid of the word and the possible meanings of it when said. The fear of rejection and failure and what would happen when someone says no to us, or when we say it to someone else. But something happened to me today, and what I believe has been happening to me for awhile. I am what can be described as a "people pleaser". I like being able to satisfy what everyone expects, wants, needs. What often happens though is that my own needs, wants, desires, needs get lost in the mix of it all. Today, no became an empowering word that allowed me to push past what I thought I was capable.

SO! The setting of when this incredible realization came about: Crossfit at 6am. Have been loving the workouts-but let me tell you, when you don't do it consistently=death. Todays workout was 400m run and 15 overhead squats--we were to do 5 rounds of this for time. This was AFTER we had already done 5x5 of overhead squats to find our 1 rep max. Now, I hate running. I hated running when I was "in shape" and I hate running now. It just isn't fun for me. I contemplated every excuse I could to get out of this running. But I said nothing. I grit my teeth and I went. I wasn't fast, I got lapped by my partner, but today, for some reason, it didn't matter. I was doing it. Every part of my aching body told me to quit, told me that I couldn't do it, told me to stop. Now working out and this lifestyle that I am now living is all mental. I said no to quitting, I said no to my legs who were attempting to become tree trucks stuck in the cement. I said no to the excuses, the short cuts, the everything that has been holding me back thus far. Today, saying no empowered me to finish. I finished and that was everything. Before, it was walking through the door of that garage gym that was my big accomplishment. Today it was knowing that I can do more that just walk in- I can walk in and kick some--excuse my language but it is necessary to emphasize my point--ASS! I think Nike was the company that said if you have a body, you're an athlete. I am an athlete. Today, I proved to no one but myself that there really isn't anything that I can't do. And I needed that. Because to do something like this and succeed means only doing it for you and no one else.

BUT! Enough of that blah blah "I'm special" shtuff--which I totally am--but you don't need to hear much more about it. Because working out is not glamorous. People fart, people sweat, people smell, people fall, people drop really heavy weights etc etc--I'm usually doing all of those things. But no one cares! Because as much as we believe that everyone is starting and judging us, they aren't. They are too focused on not trying to fart while squatting as you are---lesson of the day...your welcome.

Do great things today. If you don't, then don't complain when nothing great happens to you ever!

------->because who doesn't like a little live Miley cover action by Bastille. Again, you're welcome...

Mirrors

I’m going to ask you to do something. For some, well most, it is going to be an uncomfortable task. I want you to go wherever you have a full length mirror. Strip down and just look at yourself. What do you see? Give it five minutes. Move around, turn around, bend down, sit down, and jump around. Contort your body into different positions. What comes to your mind when you look at yourself? Now chances are that every single one of you will say something negative. Too fat, too crinkly, wrinkly, dimply, bumpy, stretchy, or bouncy—whatever you thought, just be honest with yourself about your feelings. I’m right aren’t I? Now I want you to spend the next five minutes asking yourself how you got the way you are. But instead of being negative about it, take the chance to see the positive. For mothers, take a look at the fine lines along your stomach or hips and instead of seeing them as these stretch marks that just will not go away, think of them as love marks. You made a child grew a child and then had that child forcibly exited from your body one way or the other, so give yourself a little credit. Those are only souvenirs from the miracle of life that is your child. Look at the bruises and scars your life experiences. Someone used to tell me that freckles were just butterfly kisses from God. What a sweet (yet slightly creepy notion when you think about it) way to look at something that would otherwise be seen as an imperfection. Your body is not imperfect. It is just different. I’m not telling you to completely fall in love with your body exactly how it is right now this second in the ten minutes that you have been in front of the mirror. All I’m asking is that you look at it with an admiration as it grows, gets smaller, more muscular, more curvy, whatever it may be. Just pick something and love it just the way it is. Now we come to a crossroads. The way your body looks and the health inside of it are not always hand in hand. Even the so called skinny bodies can be crazily unhealthy. The same goes for the opposite. The most vavavoombacious bodies can be healthy horses on the inside. The point is not to be skinny, it is to be healthy. So the next time that you are looking in the mirror, loving what you see obviously, think about it. Am I unhealthy or do I just not like the way I look? Often times, if done properly, getting healthy will help you look the way you want to look! Mind. Blown. I know.

So where is it that this big inspirational mumbo jumbo going? What qualifies me to tell a bunch of strangers to get in their birthday suits and look at themselves in the mirror? Well let me tell you. I’m not qualified. I’m not a doctor or an expert. I am you. I am the average in America at the moment. I look at myself in the mirror every day and have those negative feelings. But what I have begun to change is my ability to do something about what I feel. While it may not be easy, I’m doing it. I’m allowing myself to love myself as is throughout this process. Don’t put your love on hold just because you aren’t where you want to be. Trust me, it just isn’t worth it. And loving yourself now will only make your love for yourself later be amplified to a whole new level. Have you ever heard the saying that distance make the heart grow fonder? For me it’s the distance that a tape measure has to go to get around my waist. It may be far now, but it won’t be that way forever.

Brings me to the perfect segue. So I’ve been trying this thing. It is called “working out” and man….am I out of shape. On one end, it makes me sad because I used to be such an athlete, but there isn’t anything I can do now except work my way back to that. So running….anyone who says they like running is just crazzyyyy. I can understand tolerating it, and maybe I will become that crazy person and someday love running, but right now, I am not. I was on the treadmill the other day. And mind you, even when I was an athlete, I was not that coordinated. So I’m running on the treadmill and I have my laptop with my inspiration/distraction from the pain mechanism over on the side. Side note: I have recently gotten into CW’s Beauty and the Beast and Arrow. If you watch the shows, then you know what I mean about inspiration and distraction…because the main men leads spend about 95% of the show with their shirts off. Let’s just say I would workout with any of them any day. Anyway, back to the story. I was running. And I was looking to the side. Not a good combination. But I made it through. I tripped a couple of times sure, but I made it. I jogged for 20 minutes. And towards the end, I was dying, which is sad, but I made it. The whole point to doing something is actually doing it. Try is not an option. Just doing.

My family and I are on this crazy journey and we are supporting each other and keeping each other honest. Really, this journey is not all that different from many families in America today. I read something today from health news site from Britain and that tweet was about how only 1-4 Brits actually do 30 minutes of exercise a day. Really? Have they been to America? I want to be a part of the movement that gets the youth back on track to being all that they can be without being riddled by disease. I want adults to realize their full potential and that there is never an age too old to realize your possibilities. I personally do not believe in the idea of impossibility. So don’t tell yourself that it’s impossible for you to be an athlete. That impossibility is actually just laziness in disguise. If I can do it, anyone can do it.